The Myth of Greener Grass

When I was a kid one of the most exciting times of year was the day the Sears Wishbook arrived. 

In a search for the Wish Book I found this one that I actually remember! I was 10 years old and likely still believed in Santa. Such innocent times.

The season of anticipation had officially begun. I would spend hours perusing the pages looking for just the most perfect item to place at the top of my Christmas wish list. I knew that my decision was crucial so this was not for the faint of heart. Choose the wrong item and endure a year of disappointment. Whatever I chose had to have enduring quality; it had to be something I would enjoy playing with for a long time. I was never one to choose something I thought I might become tired of around lunch time on Christmas Day. 

The dream and the planning lasted far longer than the opening of the gifts. All this is still true today; I love to plan. In my mind. On paper. And most of all, on the internet. Ahhh, the “Interwebs.” It is simultaneously the most wonderful and at the same time the most destructive of modern day tools. I know I have said more than a million times, “What would I do without the internet?” But in all fairness to the internet, the fault is really my own. It is a matter of  personal self discipline, but I’ll save that discussion for another time. Today I’m pondering all the wishing I do online and how that affects my psychological state.

My primary dreaming obsession are the real estate apps and web sites that enable one to dream about a fantasy life in the perfect house in the perfect town. Yes, I am one of those people who always wants to live in every beautiful town or city she visits. So, with all this information in the palm of my hand, I can send myself into a state of constant discontent. I allow myself to be lulled into believing that I would be happier if only…I lived in a better climate, smaller town, the country, the city, condo, Victorian, Mid Century Modern, etc. I can almost fill in the blank with anything and just “know” that would be the perfect life. Anyone else relate?

I recently drove to the Dallas area to visit my niece who had just moved into a brand spanking new apartment. She is literally the first person to live there. It is a nice area and the finishes in her apartment are top of the line and far nicer than what I have in my thirty year old house. I had fun doing stuff with her and visiting with my brother. I’ve always liked going up there. The climate is drier than the swamp where I live. The streets are wider and cleaner. Everything is neater and compartmentalized. They have zoning. My inlaws lived there until their passing, so I’ve spent lots of time in the Metroplex. 

Somehow this trip was different. 

The “life there would be perfect” mind set hit me on the drive home. It didn’t help that I sat in horrific traffic extending the five hour drive to seven hours. Lots of time to ponder. But, an interesting thing happened as I got closer to Houston. Partially the relief that my journey was coming to an end, but even more than that, I was home.

…to be continued.

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