Out Of The Darkness

I have heard it said that a messy desk is the sign of a cluttered mind. I say that a cluttered mind is the result of an unclear path.

I have spent untold hours and so much mental energy trying to create a niche for myself that is completely unique and could become a business. In the late 70s I thought about parlaying my love for words and calligraphy into a lettering/logo business. I bought the supplies, practiced, and moved on. In the early to mid 80s it was crochet; I dreamed of winning a crochet design contest that would land me in a magazine, thus launching a career. By the 90s I was happily married, had a job I liked and all my energy went into these things as well as my new again religious fervor. I jumped in with both feet and even took classes at a local Bible college. Then in 2003 my granddaughter was born and my world changed forever. I had a solid relationship with God, my husband and family. I entered the absolute happiest time of life. I was full and content. My entire life was spent wanting to be a wife and a mom and now I was living that dream I had a daughter by marriage and a granddaughter I was able to care for while her mom worked. Then, I made a decision which led me down an uncharted path.

By 2005 I had taken up knitting and felt like it was time to do something for myself, so I joined a social knitting group where I met the woman who would become my business partner. Together we opened a yarn shop. This sounds like an innocuous enough undertaking, but it altered me in ways I could have never imagined.

The details are not as important as the end result. The end result was that I began trusting more in my own understanding and slowly removed the light from my life. The farther away from God I got the more circuitous my path and the deeper my anxiety and confusion. So what is the answer? Light is the answer.

Most of us have experienced being in total darkness for one reason or another; it is natural to feel anxious and fearful of taking the next step. But put a flashlight in our hands and suddenly that step forward is clear…as long as we walk in the direction of the light.

But that light only shines for a defined distance. What is beyond that? We will never know until we take a step, then we are allowed to see a little more. Stand still, nothing is revelealed. Move to the right or the left and it could be safe but then again, who knows. That is where the anxiety is produced. It is only moving forward in the direction of the light that we can be confident and secure.

My word is a lamp to your feet; My presence is a light for your path. Psalm 119:105

When I worship God through reading scripture, praying and listening then I have a light for my path the rest of the day. Giving thanks at the end of the day prepares my mind and spirit for rest. And then, I’m ready for tomorrow.

So, if you are like me and put God’s lamp on the bookshelf or in a drawer, go find it. Let Him illuminate your day and your life. Let His peace wash over you and rest in His loving care.

Until tomorrow…


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