I have spent over thirty years of my life making plans that never came to fruition. Mostly plans of where and how I want to live. The plans always involved moving, until it didn’t. Then I went into a frenzy reorganizing and redecorating. Then I came back to the idea of moving. In fairness, most of those years were spent with other priorities taking center stage…a daughter, then daughter and granddaughters, work, life, etc. But now, we are in a completely different place. It is just the two of us and the possibilities seem endless.
I am a homebody. I would rather be home than anywhere else in the world. I just need to finish making this home everything I want it to be; I need to stop dreaming of moving. I know the fallacy of finding a Hallmark movie kind of life somewhere is just a fairy tale that never comes true. I would rather fix up what I have to suit us. I may not have chosen this house but I now have history here. My daughter and granddaughters have history here. My parents moved several times so I don’t have a home to go back to; that place where I was a child and became an adult; that place I can return to and relive childhood memories. I love being that place for my family. It may not be a Hallmark story but what can come true is making my very best life where I am right now.
Bringing It Out Of The ‘80s
Most of the big stuff on the inside of the house is finished. Bathrooms, floors, recent paint, windows, roof, air conditioning and most recently all new duct work. Now for the kitchen. The appliances are all new so now it is just painting walls and cabinets, new lighting and floors. Then all that will be left is little decorating touches. Then we can turn our attention to the outside.
Mr. Means could care less if we have outdoor living space. He only enjoys the outdoors from November through January because that is hunting season in our part of Texas. Me on the other hand, I love being outdoors. I have begged for outdoor furniture and a pretty backyard for as long as I can remember. Because of his resistance I have never really pushed. I have accepted his lack of enthusiasm and tried to channel my energies elsewhere. I convinced myself that I needed to find something to spend the money on that we would both enjoy. Well, that didn’t go well and has led to years of frustration and disappointment.
I’m not waiting any longer.
I have spent the afternoon playing on my iPad, sketching a rough design of what I would like to have in the backyard. I want virtually no grass. Only a small plot for the dogs that can be cut without the need for a large mower. I want my little patch of earth to heal and only plant native things that change naturally with the seasons. I want to provide an environment for squirrels, birds and butterflies. I want little paths through the small gardens so that I can wander and enjoy the sights and sounds of nature. I want a piece of outdoor art and a giant loom that I can use vines and plants to weave with seasonal plants.
This is my plan.
Sheryl’s She Shed
Of course no backyard would be complete without a “she-shed.” I want it just large enough for the essentials, but not too big. There will only be room for one. Through the years I have repurposed nearly every square inch of this house to suit other people. I’ve never felt I had a space that is strictly mine. Our daughter’s room is now mostly a storage space, but it also needs to function as a guest room should we ever have a guest. I don’t feel that even that room is truly my own. But a small cottage in the yard, nestled amongst the garden and the things I love…that would be mine alone. Well, me, Maggie & Belle. I’m not even sure I would put the loom and spinning wheel out there, though I made room for them in the sketch. I’m rethinking that as well. This may be my reading, writing, praying, quiet space. A sacred room. A room where dreams are created and magic happens.
This post took all day to create. It has just been one of those days. I am learning to lean into the day rather than fighting it; embracing the ebb and flow of life and noticing the beauty of the moments. I pray the same for you wherever you are in your journey.