It’s Monday…

…and I still am not sure what I am going to talk about today. It is a tad frightening to sit before a blank screen and just randomly fill it with information. But, when all else fails, I’ll just write as if I’m talking to you about stuff.

We went to visit my mom this weekend. Since we both have February birthdays my brother and his family and my family generally converge on our mom’s house sometime in February to celebrate. This year, there were many conflicts in scheduling so it was the first weekend in March before we could all be together.

Here is my birthday haul.

Outside of wool and all the necessary tools required to make yarn then make stuff with the yarn, these represent my favorite things. Vintage dishes, magazines, earrings, books, cool drink ware – especially when the decorations are created just for me – note pads, and anything related to vintage travel trailers. I don’t own one, but I’m sure trying to figure out a way to make it happen! Also notice the cover of In Her Studio – a mobile fiber art studio would be so amazing. I could travel to shows and carry my work with me. So many dreams, so little time and money.

By comparison, mom didn’t get nearly so much stuff. Her Christmas gift was a greenhouse so that also counts as birthday and Mother’s Day this year. That was from my brother’s side of the family, along with the labor of putting it together. From us she got a wood cart/work table for her new little plant house. All in all a very lovely celebration.

Family Dynamics

Families are funny entities. In many ways they are each a small bureaucracy. What is a bureaucracy? In its basic form, it is something that involves a lot of complicated rules, details and processes. An intact biological family really doesn’t realize how complicated of an organism they really are. I suggest that the given definition of bureaucracy could be applied to all families, and all of them function about as well as expected. And then something happens to shake up the status quo.

Have you every asked a bureaucrat to do something a different way? I rest my case.

Children learn the nuances and all the spoken and unspoken rules as they are growing up. No one stops to analyze why things are done a certain way, or even that they are done a certain way. It is what it is…to quote an over used modern phrase. As the family changes through marriage, divorce or death, new people are often introduced into the inner sanctum of the family unit.

We’ve all been there. It starts with pleasantries, and everyone is on their best behavior and guarded. As that guard wears down and things happen that are not part of the usual family flow, a little heat starts simmering. If not addressed things get worse then all the familial peculiarities begin to rise to the surface.

It reminds me of making a “clean out the refrigerator vegetable soup.” A little of this and that carefully blended and seasoned makes for a beautiful and tasty meal. But if left untended, the soup gets too hot; as it boils air bubbles fester until they finally rise to the surface. Stir the soup and the bubbles go away, but everything is still hot. You have to turn the heat off to let things cool down. Then it must be gently ladled it into a bowl so that each person can receive the nourishment. Sometimes we need to go to our own corners to rest and think, then come back together with a different perspective as we care for those ornery folks we call family.

If the original family members are not ready, the integration of the new folks into the fold can be awkward at best, painfully divisive at worst. In the past year and a half my nuclear family has undergone this process. It has been…eye opening.

The three primary adults (adult children do not count at this point, nor does a spouse) discovered dysfunctional patterns of behavior that we had just learned to work around. The initial introduction of a third woman into this mix of mother, son and sister was, a bit tense at first. Naturally protective, we We all took several wrong turns trying to navigate this new path.

With time and work on everyone’s part, the communication got better, we learned more about one another, and all the rules of the organization became clear to the new member. The process of working together for the betterment of the group didn’t so daunting anymore.

On this visit, we were all relaxed and just had fun. And now that we are adding another new member to the group – a husband for my niece and son-in-law for my brother – the transition into the Perkins Family Bureaucracy will go much smoother. As with other additions this one brings new challenges and learning opportunities. I now have faith we have learned and grown together so that we will tackle any hurdles the future holds for us. We are stronger and better than before.

So now, this is how I think of my nuclear family.

Mom is at the top and then each of us represented by a color that reflects the individual. We are all different, touching each other’s lives in special and unique ways. It isn’t always smooth sailing but we know that no matter what, we have each other to lean on. Welcome to the Perkins fold. For better or worse, you are part of the family.

Until tomorrow…keep looking up, embrace today and go find some fun!


Foodie Friday: Meatloaf Mania

In my core I am a simple woman. I grew up eating on a schedule – it is the whole Taco Tuesday thing only with the foods of my youth: pork chops, spaghetti, fried chicken, and the king of the weekday menu: Meatloaf.

There is no real explanation for my meatloaf mania. I don’t recall having a passion for it as a child, but in my later years, meatloaf has come to signify comfort and familiarity. I wish I could say that I have, over the years, perfected my own recipe. But I have not.

If my mom ever wrote down how to make it, I have long since lost the instructions. Since she worked and it was my job to get dinner on the table, I’m sure there was a recipe; I just don’t follow instructions well…if at all. So I look up recipes on line and try to find just the right mix of meat, ketchup, and other ingredients to satisfy my cravings. Fortunately for me my husband is not a huge fan; leftovers are all mine! Who, doesn’t love a cold meatloaf sandwich on white bread with lots of mayo? Not your thing? That’s ok, just no need to tell me how gross this sounds to you. Thank you.

Some meatloaf experiments have gone better than others. Sometimes I try to get fancy with the seasonings only to regret it in the end. I know for a fact that my mom’s meatloaf used onion, celery and green peppers chopped up and blended with the meat. I have decided that I prefer a less crunchy meatloaf. It is like pablum for a baby. Also, sneaking veggies into a regular dish to up the nutrition quotient, is a no-no. Just give me ground meat a few key seasonings and a texture that neither dry nor too moist.

I tried getting cute by making a Mexican themed meatloaf – cumin, onion, garlic, topped with a salsa like mixture. Yeah, it was ok. But was it real meatloaf? Not on your life. I also reject turkey meatloaf, ground chicken meatloaf, and it should go without saying that any kind of meat substitute will never be meatloaf. I will accept some pork blended with the ground beef, but that is as exotic as I choose to get. Sorry. Facts are facts.

This week I decided to try a Keto friendly recipe. Yes, I was suspicious, but it turned out surprisingly delicious. Most of the ingredients are standard fare. But where this recipe departs from the normal meatloaf route is that it replaces bread products with crushed pork rinds. Yes, those rich, crunchy bits of fried pork skin that used to be taboo. I really didn’t think it would work, but it did! I made the dipping sauce and spread it on top of the meat during the last 10 minutes of baking. It was a tangy addition to the dish.

Photo from

In full disclosure I did not have sugar free ketchup nor keto friendly brown sugar. So, in the purest of senses mine was not totally a keto dish. But, it was so good and something I will make again.

So, what’s your go to favorite food from childhood? I have more, primarily Mac ‘n Cheese (homemade not the blue box). But that is for another day. Enjoy some of those old things. Modify the recipes as needed to match your current eating style and health requirements, but enjoy yourself as you nourish your body.

Have an amazing weekend!

Crafting A Life

In this second installment of the Inspire Not Imitate series, I’m introducing you to a woman who lives on the other side of the world from me, yet she has built a life that, from the select images she shares, has inspired me in so many different ways.

Her photography is breathtaking, but it is her subject matter that touched me so deeply. I have decided to use my Visceral Goosebump Nostalgia Test, VGNT for short, as the method of determining what is a passing fancy and what is fundamentally a part of who I am.

Understanding VGNT

Through the years I have discovered different physical reactions to things that I love, and continue to love for years to come. First, the Visceral Reaction – VR – this happens when I see something that produces a certain feeling in my gut. I can’t describe it, it isn’t butterflies or the heart in the stomach feeling. It is quite literally a gut reaction. I just know it when it happens. And through the years it consistently occurs in the following situations…

  • Walking through an antique mall and I encounter a booth that is adorned in all shades of off white, tan, gray, and brown. The products don’t matter as much as the feeling that comes from the collection; however the collection is generally old textiles, wooden items such a boxes, bowls, stools, chairs and tables, even books, jewelry and china…the main factor is the absolute lack of bright colors and extraordinary texture found in layering such items.
  • Hiking in the woods or a forest, especially in the fall or late winter before the new growth begins to appear.
  • Old furniture that has endured many lives and transformations, but still stands ready to be used and loved once again.
  • Dark, cozy spaces that invite one to rest and have a conversation, or to be alone in the corner with a book, or even better, a spindle and wool or yarn and a crochet hook.
  • Big windows to see the world outside.
  • All things authentically natural, worn, used, rusted, and old. I’m not much for mass manufactured things that just look old.
  • Chickens – I want chickens.
  • Trees in the winter…barren yet with the promise of new life. They are some of God’s finest sculptures.
  • Trees that have fallen and are returning to the earth.
  • Rocks and twigs there is no rational explanation, but I must have them around me.
  • Handmade. I will take something made by hand over mass produced any day. I love the human imperfections found in these humble items.

All these things evoke a sense of coziness, comfort and safety that speaks to the very core of who I am. They also represent what I value. There is so much in this world I could do without…these are not among those.

Then there is the Goosebump Reaction – GbR – this is simple. When I see something that causes goosebumps to rise up on my arms, I know that it is special. Not everything that elicits a GbR is worthy of becoming a permanent part of my life, but it deserves a second glance. This is generally for individual items rather than an overall environment. Colors, artwork, collectible items, dishes, even some furniture pieces, can fall in this category. The thing with the GbR is that it often depends on outside influences. Pantone has a color of the year every year so I find myself having a GbR to the color of the year. It might come to be a VR, but only time will tell. Furniture is the biggest mistake that can be made if only the GbR is applied to the purchase. GbRs come and go and are fun. A passing fancy that might one day become a permanent resident.

And finally there is the NR. The Nostalgia Reaction obviously occurs when a fond memory or a comfortable feeling is created when seeing something that was a part of my youth. This is where my fondness for mid century modern furniture comes into play. I love to look at it as it reminds me of my childhood. It does not generally produce a VR, so it is not where I would make a large investment. The fun thing with NR is that small items, used seasonally to decorate, are perfect things to enjoy a little nostalgic whimsy.

With all this in mind, I introduce you to Ainslee of My Suburban Farm (@mysuburbanfarm). Thank you so much for allowing me to use your photos and story.

My Suburban Farm

This was the image I most vividly remember. I had been following her for a while when I saw this. Her photos caused a VR from the moment I discovered Ainslee’s Instagram feed. I was so moved I sent her a private message gushing about her lifestyle. From there I am sure I scrolled back looking at everything. I may have to ask her for permission to print this and hang it in my studio one day. It opened a door into my heart that will never close. I did not list pitchers and such in my list of VR items, but I adore them and love to collect them. Especially old white ones. As a crocheter the idea of crafting my own hooks from tree branches never crossed my mind, and yet, here before my eyes someone was doing just that. It seems they sell out as fast as she puts them up on her website. Now, she is not a crochet hook carver for a living, but she is generous enough to sell them when she can. Is she living this life in some fabulous country location? No, she’s doing it in suburban Melbourne, Australia.

I could post every picture from her feed, I love them all so much, but I will restrain myself and encourage you to visit her yourself. This photo is the grid view of her page. I think you will immediately recognize my VR.

I just simply cannot add anything to this. The photo says it all. I told Ainslee that I could just see myself sitting in that round chair, contentedly crocheting as my chickens stroll in and out. I feel connected to nature and God when I look at these pictures. Everything here is from Him. I love it all.

From Inspiration To Home

This is the photo that truly started my personal decorating revolution. I long for a space that is just mine. I did not choose my home – my husband already owned it when we married – but I want a space that is all mine and this is how I want it to feel. I am still planning on a writing/fiber studio in the backyard.

I loved the feeling of this so much I used it as the inspiration for the colors in my living room. Our home, built in 1983, has a great room with a slightly open kitchen and dining. There is just enough separation of the rooms to make me happy, but it is all open and flows nicely.

This is my entryway which was inspired by the Ainslee’s shed. I have my fiber art pieces as well as family items and the all important mirror for last minute lipstick checks. The vignette on the table changes from time to time, but the wall is set. I love to come home to this.

On the opposite wall is a lawyer’s bookcase filled with some of our NR items. Hanging above is a piece I crocheted using giant alpaca rope type yarn – a gift from my brother – mounted on a piece of driftwood I found on a beach in Maine and carefully packed in my suitcase for the trip to Texas. The framed print on the right, a gift from my mother-in-law and the one of the left, a gift from my granddaughter. This is all about family, love and memories.

These are all inspired by those first images I discovered on My Suburban Farm. Seeing her gorgeous photos helped me cut through all of the other stuff that I thought I loved to discover my true self so that I could express it for myself. And, isn’t that what creating a home should be all about? I think so.

My husband’s wildlife prints, a mounted deer skull, a beloved stick I found and drug home, and off in the corner a collection of rocks and more twigs in a vase. The table was my inlaw’s and I loved it from the moment I first saw it. The last picture is a close up of the wood. The gentlemen’s chair was painted a hideous green and was going to get left for the trash as we cleaned out my father-in-law’s house after he passed. I brought it home and had it stripped and refinished. Such a treasure.

Old suitcases. They make my heart skip a beat. Where have they gone? What have they seen? What stories could they tell? The two on the bottom belonged to my parents. I carried the brown one when I flew across the country and got engaged. The marriage didn’t last, the suitcase endures.

The wear and tear of my absolute favorite table. I’ve since cleaned it somewhat. The things that won’t come off are merely memories of things from the past. I don’t see them as flaws, I see them as character marks. A life well lived shows a few signs of wear and tear. That’s how we know we’ve done it right.

Make It Your Own

However you choose to create a home, I hope you find inspiration in how I finally found authenticity. It is your home and it should reflect you and your lifestyle. Cluttered or minimalist, colorful or not, if it makes you feel content then it is home.

Not sure what I’m writing about tomorrow…but I will be back!

Until then, keep looking up, embrace today, and go find some fun!